Adam's Journal

A gap-year student's thoughts and experiences whilst staying with Trust

 

 

17/12/2005

Hey all.

My travels begin. India in all its chaotic splendor has already surpassed every expectation and the last 4 days have yielded more magical experiences than one could have ever hoped for. We have spent the last few days on the move traveling from Cochin via Bangalor to Hampi on the sleeper train. Bangalor gave of western vibes and was far from the India I came here to experience. Every one is on the move. The fast pace of rickshaws navigating the busy roads and the non stop flow of smiling brown faces became exhausting and even at 5 in the morning as we arrived, street sellers were already advertising their wares to the multitudes of people crowding the busy streets. Also I had my first Indian shave. As you Stare down the cut throat razor blade a sense of vulnerability is unavoidable but following the head massage in traditional Indian fashion I left the barber shop feeling properly pampered.

Following Bangalor we started the next part of our Journey......a ten hour train ride to Hampi. Although we booked tickets on the sleeper train, we didn't do so in advance and therefore as tourists had to apply for emergency seating. Your only informed whether the application has been successful as the train pulls into the station at ten o'clock at night. We frantically searched up and down the train checking for our names on every carriage door and eventually found our names with the intial RAC.......ie We had no individual beds. This meant the boyz and I had to try and get some sleep through the 10 hour train ride whilst squeezing into a space about 7ft by 3ft by 4ft. To top it of the train seemed to constantly stop, start and blow it's unbelievably loud horn at frequent intervals....you do the maths....we didn't get much sleep. Our only consolation came in the form of a small bottle of whisky i had stashed and a bag of fresh fruit. After getting a little drunk we proceeded to squeece the three of us into our tiny bed and after a few fits of giggles attempted sleep. Managing a brief respite from the clutches of wakefulness we arrived (this morning) grumpy, stiff and a wee bit hungover in Hampi. 10 hour train rides of the sort would have been worth seeing thisamazing place.

A huge 53m tower covered in intricate carvings of hindu daities is the central point in town and a long road lined with every kind exotic of cloth, pigment, jewlery colour and foodstuff leads out of the temple. The place is surrounded by history, being an ancient capital of a regional empire and housing half a million people in its time it's surrounded by temples, old monuments and buildings that bare the marks of an advanced civilization. The landscape is incredible. Mountain surround the river basin and huge granite tors rise out of the red ground. A river runs through the banana, sugar cane and mango plantations that stretch for miles around, the landscape punctuated by the shrines and small temples dotting the landscape for miles around. By chance we have arrived here during a 3 day Hindu festival that celebrates Siva engagement to Parvati which happens to be the most important celebration on the local calendar so of to the festival now... they've just lit up the tower with hundreds of lamps, so I'll bid you farewell.

Love you all

Adam

 

27/12/2005

Hey all

Hope your all well. I'm in Varkala at the moment celebrating christmas, hanuka and the new year.

Blue skies every day, the sea is warm, waves aren't amazing but its nice to chill on the beach for a few days away from the constant energy of Indian life.

Still recovering from our 27 hourt trip from Goa to Varkala. The trains were so full we couldn't even book seats and we ended up in the corridor next to the most awful toilets you've ever seen. Our plush accommodation was shared with the many other unfortunate indians who hadn't booked in advance. And Indian train corridors are nothing like English train corridors i can tell you. The walls were covered in grime and looked like they hadn't ever been cleaned, there was a constant stench from the two toilets opposite, the floor was covered in what we hoped was water and rotting food, and there as no possibility of sleep as we had to constantly watch our bags against thieves. Yet it felt more like the real India than any of the tourist attractions in Goa or Hampi. Surrounded by people who were genuinely interested in where we were from, what we did and not just an opportunity to make a quick buck was refreshing. With nothing to do but stay awake for the next 17 hours we decided to cracked open the bottle of whisky and have a little party in the train corridor. The next 10 hours were great, conversation, general drunkenness and much laughter with our newly acquired Indian friends(being hungover for the next 17 hours wasn't so fun but definitely worth it).

We met a dude who'd been a strict muslim for 17 years, decided he didn't believe in god, was kicked out of home, became a Scag head for 3 years using 10 grams of heroine a day and then managed to kick the habit on his own(there you go all in one breath!). No one here has a support network and from the lepers begging on the street with their limbs decomposing and covered in sores, to the shopkeepers who have to pay extortionate bribes to the police in order to do business, everyone has to make it on there own. No one seems to complain though. They just get on with it. Makes you realize how easy we in the West have it and puts our problems a little more in perspective.

We're of to Tamil Nadu after new year to start teaching English in a small village school. Apparently Ben, Roddy and I are going to be given a class at our disposal for two or three weeks, so who knows what chaos will ensue but should be fun.

Yesterday sitting out in the water i watched schools of flying fish speed past chased by dolphins whilst sea eagles soared and swooped above me. One of the dolphins was a little curious and came over to check me out. They certainly have something special about them and its funny because usually faced with any other wild animal the size of a dolphin you'd be a touch nervous. It's not the case with dolphins, they have a somewhat calming presence underlining their intelligent expressions.

We've also found the most amazing place to eat in India so far. Friends took us to an huge Indian lady (always the sign of a good chef) who had the ambiance of a happy Italian Mama and cooked the most divine food. She cooks in her house and you eat in a small room by her bedroom whilst her family wonder around doing their daily chores. You pay by contribution and she just keeps on cooking the whole time your there, bringing plate after plate of exquisite curries, chutneys, rice dishes and all sorts until you feel like your going to pop. Think that if we keep eating there we'll come back as large as her.

Anyway send you all my love.

Yours

Adam

 

1/1/2006

Hey All

Indian new years was mildly amusing if not unbelievably dangerous. The indians let of hundreds of fireworks, half of which back-fire, blowing debry into anyone unfortunate enough to be close by and the other half seem to shoot of in random directions most of which aren't directed in the air.The parties here weren't much to brag about.... lots of lary Indians in boxer shorts trying to dance to trance, not my idea of fun but mildy amusing nonetheless. Me and the boyz were real party poopers asnyway and went back to our rooms just after 12. Oh what fun.

Love Adam

 

7/1/2006

Hey All

I've started teaching in a small Indian village in the middle of no where. Have to cycle 3km to find the nearest Internet connection or international phone but I'll try to correspond more often.

As i said I've started teaching and it is an amazing experience. We catch the bus to school everyday and they jam so many kids onto it that I swear one day the whole thing will burst. The bus passes through many villages, filled with houses painted in a pale blue whitewash that characterizes this beautiful place. Mist and haze spatters the horizon shrouding the conical mountains that rise out of the flat plain. Its a great chance to really bond with the kids who are the friendliest, most eager, willing to learn, happy little creatures you have ever met. They share none of the negativity English kids posses and excitement, chatter and laughter greets you whatever you tell them, show them or do. Every day they teach us a little bit of Tamil (the native language) before the day's lesson's begin. Teaching is hard. Should have been a lot better to my teachers. I didn't reallies how hard the job really is. We have the easiest classes in the world (to teach) here in India, as the kids are unbelievably willing.....we say sh and we get immediately silence, we say jump and they jump etc. Yet we still come home every night absolutely nackered and ready to lay down our weary heads.. Every evening we've got to do a lesson plan and prepare for the next day which is actually remarkably difficult but it's all an incredibly worthwhile and rewarding experience nonetheless.

We're staying in the most amazing Rural village in India. Everyone here is so happy to see us and treats us almost like celebrities. They have arranged for us to have our own house, cook us three huge meals every day and we even have someone personally assigned in effect to cater for our every need. We also have the best shower ever.....a bucket and a well.....sweet! Nothing wakes you up better first thing in the morning than a cold bucket of water over the head. It's strange and we don't really feel like we deserve the trouble they take over us but in this culture if someone offers you something it is an insult not to take it, so we accept everything gracefully.

Thirumaran the man who has arranged all of this and runs the charity here is a saint. And I say this literally because he is one of the most dedicated, generous, gracious, trustworthy, hard working person I have ever met. He works form 9 until 2 at night every day of the week organizing medical camps, arranging a free ambulance service, catering for the orphanage, keeping his projects going in tsunami affected areas, as well as his ecological projects and the so many other things he is involved in. I feel unworthy in his presence. He has awoken my social conscience for the first time I feel a resolve to help those in need in the world, the only question is how can i do this best? What is the most valuable thing i can give?

I visited Thirumaran's orphanage a few days ago and was truly moved. I cried afterwards. So many happy faces but you can still see hurt in their eyes. Most of these children have lost their parents in the tsunami and if it were not for Thirumaran they would have no hope. The government are thwarting his efforts at every step and because he wont support their particular political party they have taken away half the orphans, returned them to the tsunami affected areas and accused him of kidnap. He is currently facing a court case. And yet he doesn't rant and rave, he isn't angry, just sad and determined. What a man.

Anyway probably should go....going to be late for lunch.

Yours

Adam

 

24/1/2006

Hey all

I'm still Venganampatti. Still teaching at the school. Still learning about life.

Went to another prize giving the other night. More photo's, more shaking hands, being gawped at and 'honouring' others as well as being 'honoured myself'. Here we are 18 year old boys with no experience of the world honouring doctors and qualified professionals but i guess that isn't the point. We were also put on the spot by Thirumaran who told us, whilst sat up on a stage in front of hundreds of people, that each one of us had to give a speech there and then. Another surprise and another experience. Not one I particularly liked but beneficial nonetheless. We all managed it in our own particular way and I guess if we hadn't been put on the spot we all would have fiercely declined any proposition of the sort. It's started to become a reccuring theme and now every event we go to Thirumaran seems to expect words of wisdom (even though none of us is very wise). He is an amazing orator. Being a teacher he manages to weave a magical spell with words, the dynamics of his voice, humor and body language. It's interesting seeing someone speak in another language and watching the spectators reactions. People who have slept through all the previous speeches will lift their heads when he enters the stage. It is an skill I would love to have.

On another note.

Thirumaran's been charged with 3 crimes:1) kidnapping 50 children from Tsunami affected areas. 2)Stealing all their kidneys (even the doctor on the scene reported this was the most stupid thing he had ever heard) and generally mistreating them 3) Having suspicious foreigners around.

The policemen who took the Kids away could not mask their tears.

The Politicians see his popularity and have realized he is a man who isn't interested in power or wealth and thus cannot be controlled.

He still impresses me everyday.

What else has been going on?

Well we have visited the site of the new orphanage. It's a really good building thats in disrepair and needs renovation. Already the cogs are turning in our head.

I guess the only problem is, with so many good causes, which do you concentrate your effort on first. There is always so much to do. How can you ever achieve all your goals and apply yourself to the multitude of good causes the world has to offer.

On one hand I become pessimistic. Firstly because as one man you can never solve all the worlds problems. And secondly with so many people out there with enormous power and wealth, why do these problems even exist. Must the majority be bad? Don't the powerful and wealthy even give half a shit? And then you realize. Until you have experienced generosity and hardship, seen with your own eyes what can be achieved and the actual misery that is going on everywhere in the world, you don't know. Ignorance is the most dangerous crime of all. There is no excuse but it brings me a little close to understanding. On the other hand you feel an optimism (Pessimism doesn't get you anywhere anyway). You see how the tiniest of good deeds and the smallest kindness can do so much good. You realize that little things can go a long way.

No you can't solve all the worlds problems at once but purposeful activity aimed in the right place can make a world of difference.

From a seed a forest can grow and for every person Thirumaran helps he expects that person to help 10 others. And then you see. Maybe there is hope.

Yours

Adam

 

31/1/2006

Hey all

I am well.

Just had some clothes tailored. Bought another lungi and think I might have graduated to honourary Indian status now. Or maybe i just look like a stupid white man in a skirt either way a bit of retail therapy never did any harm especially when the whole lot only cost me three pound fifty.

Went to see the 'backward' communities last night. The Untouchables. The shadow people. I use the words 'backward' and 'untouchable' because that is what they call themselves. These words or labels should be disguarded, destroyed and burnt. Their ashes hurled into the past but never forgotten. And they will be in time, but not yet.

People, no different from you or I. People crushed by tradition, history and those in high places. Resigned to their fate. Accepting their children's fate. Bound to subordination by blood.

By Race... a word disguarded by biologists as unscientific, without basis, meaningless. Only a way for those in power to manipulate and subjugate the weak. And yet they accept their label, perpetuating an evil myth, suffering silently and thus cursing the generations to come.

These people cower in your presence. Old men must bow to the young. They have been made to accept their so called inferiority as given. They have been taught to kneel when going into a 'superior' casts house. To remove their turban and bow when a 'superior' walks past. They must remove their shoes if they are to travel to the 'forward' communities side of the village. They will never be educated past a basic level. Never progress. Never be allowed a real profession and thus are stuck. No education, No money, No power, No Hope. As I said before education is the key and without it nothing good can come.

It isn't right, plain and simple.

These people lived in the smallest humblest accommodation. One or two rooms for families of 6,7,8 people. The women and children sleeping inside. Whilst the older men sleep out. Still they bring biscuits, snacks and tea when we come. And watch with delight when we accept (no 'forward community' member will usually accept their food or drink). These people are hospitable, humble human beings no better or worse than any other. In fact I lie. I would say significantly better as they don't possess the arrogance, the pompousness and self infatuation most of us are guilty of (at least at one time or another).They have let go of their ego, but have also lost their confidence.

One boy showed us a book he had purchased. Saved up for and was diligently trying to study. His English class would consist of more than 50 children crammed into a small room and yet he was persevering with his education. He read us a few sentences. Evey word was worth more than any A grade I studied for at school. And i ask, Who will support him? Even if he does receive support and even if he does receive an education. Even after all of this, all his sweat, all his effort. No 'self respecting forward community member' will employ him. He will probably become another agricultural worker. Only receiving employment half of the year and struggling to keep food on the table the other half. Bound to subordination because of his cast.

Untouchables should not be Touched but we shook hands with them all. They didn't quite know what to do. But they smiled. And we smiled.

Enough said.

As I said before Ignorance is dangerous. Ignorance can make you destroy yourself and ignorance has lead the shadow people further into the shadows. They have accepted their division. They have accepted their backward status. One would think that they would at least think it wrong. But no. They continue to divide themselves further. The men who invented the cast system were incredibly devious. Each rung will say "my position may be bad, but at least it's better than that persons." And so they will make sure that those below them keep to their community. Keep to their rules. Stay in their position.

They allow themselves to be manipulated. They get shat on, but effectively also shit on themselves. Their only hope is education.

In fact THE only hope is education.

Gandi once said. If we are to empty all the prisons of the world we must fill all the schools and there is much truth in that.

The West is an example refuting this, but the west's education isn't perfect and at least racism in the West is not accepted and is in this extreme.

Anyway. Slow progress is being made. People like Thirumaran are trying to do something. They are making people aware and at least that's a start.

Anyway got to go. More things to do.

Yours

Adam

 

7/2/2006

Hey all.

Finally ended my stay with Thirumaran. Feels like I only just arrived. He has taught me so much. I feel like I've crammed years worth of learning into the last month and my head is a confusion of new ideas, perspectives, aspirations and dreams. I've also done a lot of 'unlearning’ as well. Many of my habits of mind, mental ‘survival techniques' and fundamental values have changed or been disguarded. Rather than feeling like I've grown up, I have realized how young I really am. How little experience I have actually got. How little I have actually done and how much more I have to do ......... At least I've still got time on my side.

The last weeks have been wonderful.

I visited the Tsunami affected regions of Tamil Nadu. The broken communities where orphans from Thirumarans home have been 'returned'. Now they rely on shelter and food from those in their communities that are prepared to give.

Those that do are some of the most generous people on earth. It is easy to give when you have everything you need, but to give when you have barely enough for yourself and those you love, is something else.

Everyone lives in tiny reed and bamboo shelters (built by Thirumarans TRUST projects), barely big enough to squeeze their own oversized families let alone someone else’s. The People who still manage to support the orphans have also lost everything to the waves and are on the brink of survival themselves. People who don't know what tomorrow will bring because their fishing nets, their boats and their livelihood’s have been destroyed. People who are still living by the sea that destroyed everything they knew and loved, constantly in fear of another great wave. Yet they still have the capacity to give.

Thirumaran (and the generous English people as he describes them) have already helped them enormously, giving them shelter, clothes, some boats and some nets, but there is only so much that can be done. Suddenly the Tsunami aid programs going on within our communities (charity breakfasts, the tiles my mother made, the collections the Bow’s and their friends made etc.) actually mean something. The benefits are there in front of my eyes and they become real.

But even in this situation, many families have chances of bettering their situations. Those who still fish often bring in big catches. They suddenly have an opportunity to save their money and buy the new boats and nets they so desperately need. Yet the majority do not. The men drink it. All their money goes to the wine shop. I constantly ask myself what can be done. But I guess this question is being asked worldwide. It is not an isolated problem but a global one.

We met a girl who was top of her class when in the orphanage…….Is she going to school now? No. She isn't signed up because there is no space this year.

The Government who ‘returned’ her have dumped her in what is left of her former village with nothing. No support. No education. No hope.

What can an uneducated girl in India with no training or skills do? Maybe break her back working in agriculture to just about cover her own rent and food, but that will be all. She can never marry because she'll never be able to afford the dowry and she has no family to 'arrange' the marriage.

Such a promising student with no hope?.....But there is always hope. That’s where we come in.

Not everything was disheartening in this ravaged place, there were good things too. The fishing community, like those we visited previously was made up of lower cast members, those at the bottom of the Indian hierarchy, given the loathsome label of ‘untouchability’.

But here something was different. They weren’t at all like the insecure people we met in the last village. Suffering had made them stronger. Survival made them more alive, alert and aware. Every ones eyes said so much: families, children, husbands and wives claimed by the sea. Friends, houses and livelihoods destroyed. Yet they weren't crushed. They were still fighting. A glint in their eyes said ‘‘we still lived on in memory of those that have been’’ and ‘‘we will not give up.’’

They talked passionately to Thirumarum. We couldn’t understand a word, but we watched as they shouted with wild eyes and laughed with all their soul.

I think they still loved life. They allowed themselves this liberty and that is what kept them free.

One woman who sat in the center of a hut we visited had an aura. A round, smiling, moonfaced woman surrounded by little children. Mother India.

She had worked in Thirumarans orphanage and had returned to the village to care for the children. Again I couldn’t understand what she said but she commanded respect from all when she spoke. Without a doubt a very special lady.

Funny how you can tell so much by just watching. Maybe we should do more watching and less talking. Only a thought.

I find the human capacity for recovery and repair is nothing short of remarkable. The ability to struggle through thick and thin, not becoming weak or bitter and still taking pleasure from life’s ‘little things’ amazes me. Taking a picture of men and women, shaking an old mans hand or a smiling at a young child was always received with so much laughter, “Nandri’s” (thanks in Tamil) and smiling eyes. Don’t get me wrong a few people lurking in the corners were shrouded by despair. Their accusing eyes emanated anger, aggression and bitterness. They had given up. But they were only few. The majority had chosen to struggle on.

All these people have so many stories. Stories that need to be told. Stories that will inspire, distress and shake us into action. We can help and therefore we must. It is all we can do.

Every orphan costs 225 pounds a year. Less than 25 pounds a month. That’s three bottles of wine, five packets of cigarettes or a curry and a few beers down the ‘Indian’. It would cost me the same to feed cloth and shelter a helpless child as my average Friday night in Totnes. Less than one pound a day can support someone who really needs it.

Child sponsorship is another project that I want to start when I return to England. With Thirumaran I know where the money is going. I have seen the accounts and I have seen the children in the flesh. No bureaucracy and no bullshit. One community helping another.

Well enough of that, What else have I been up to?

Went to a Labroscopic surgery the other day. Stood a meter away from the surgeons table. Watched everything. It started with an appendix removal for a 10 year old girl. A simple 15 min operation all done using a tiny camera, a few amazing instruments and tiny little cuts in the child’s stomach. Modern technology at it’s most advanced.

The next operation was a lot more serious…… the removal of a huge tumor from a ladies uterus. A 3 hour stint. An opportunity to watch someone save another persons life. It started in the same fashion as the last. A tiny camera was inserted into the Ladies stomach and then through two tiny holes in her stomach, two instruments were inserted that electrified, cut and sealed. Then came the hard part. The removal of the uterus itself. In the end it came down to push and shove. 2 hours of delving into her innards with prongs, scissors, electric arms and instruments that would all belong in the torture chambers of ancient. Blood, Redness, Soreness and Pain are the only words which really do justice to what I saw. After what seemed like a lifetime, the cancerous growth emerged. A huge lump of mangled flesh, capillaries and tissue was expelled and she was finally free of her demon.

Three hours of complete concentration. How can anyone stand the pressure. Surgeons have my utmost respect. If things are going wrong they can’t just say ‘Oh lets pack up and try again tomorrow’ they have to stick it right until the bitter end. Once they start there’s no chance of stopping, they must plow on regardless. And throughout they must keep a steady hand and a steady mind…… their slightest mistake can cost a life. They are real lifesavers and they certainly so something really worthwhile.

Anyway, in Madurai at the moment and of to Pondicherry tonight, so I send you all my love and wish you all the best.

Yours

Adam